Here Comes A Sunday

Here it comes; the most stressful day of the week. Sunday. The day I have to wake up early, guns blazing, and make sure everything happens on time. This is the day the children must look beautiful and behave perfectly. It is the day of the family breakfast, the Church Pot-luck (followed by a business meeting which will last, if we're lucky, an hour or so..) and of exhausted children who have had to miss naptime.

Today there is no room for lost socks and diaper explosions. Please, children, use your spoons and DO NOT TOUCH YOUR HAIR!!! Too late. Oatmeal, stuck like cement to their unkempt mopheads, in the crevices of their ears, and between their toes. (she's one, she'll learn to use her fingers eventually, right?!)

Everyone must exit the door promptly, in an orderly fashion, neatly dressed and clean, oatmeal remnants removed from the munchkins but unfortunately clinging to my nice sweater. Why do I try to look cute? I just ruin all my clothes anyway!

Of course, we aren't prompt. We're late. Again. That's okay! Everyone else at church will be late too. We nearly never begin on time. Where do I put this casserole? Will it stay hot? LITTER BUG! Get! A! Tissue! If you have to pick your nose why do it today... in public? I hate it when we're late. Our favorite pew could be taken, (the back one!) and there isn't a warm place to keep this casserole, which is probably going to be cold by the time we get around to eating.

Oatmeal and buggers on my front. Kids won't sit still. Didn't hear a word of the sermon. Bug had to go potty, Bear needed a diaper change (not to mention a nap). I am determined to teach them to sit still. They did much better last week. Maybe it won't be so bad....

Isn't Sunday supposed to be the day of Rest?

Why do we plan so much today of all days?

Ooo. a spare afternoon, let me do.... follows a list of backed up to-do items...

Remember the Sabbath Day, and keep it Holy. (Exodus 20:8)

Anyone know what this means exactly? I'm not feeling Holy Sunday mornings. The stress of the day makes me angry and frustrated, and surely not in the mood for worship. Poor planning, I'm sure. I know my heart is focused on the wrong thing, but is there any way to cut back on all these activities on the Holy Day of Sabbath? Can I do all these things and keep it Holy?

Keep the Sabbath Day Holy, Don't pursue your own interests on that day, but enjoy the Sabbath and speak of it with delight as the Lord's Holy day. Honor the Lord in everything you do, and don't follow your own desires or talk idly. If you do this, the Lord will be your delight. I will give you great honor and give you your full share of the inheritance I promised to Jacob, your ancestor. I, the Lord, have spoken!" Isaiah 58:14(NLT)

I could use a little more delight. Delight myself in the Lord. That sounds great. I understand we are not supposed to forsake the gathering of ourselves together, but how does this jive with keeping the Sabbath Holy? Why do I find it so stressful?

A reading of Acts will show us that the people would gather together in the temple on the Sabbath and Paul would go in to preach to them. So we have a long history of gathering on the Sabbath. That's not the part that needs to go.

I guess it's my attitude. I need to focus on the Lord. I need to plan ahead and get all the little things done prior to the big (holy!) day so I'm not concerned with them. I must DELIGHT myself in the Lord on the Sabbath day. (no I won't say SUNDAY, and no, I don't worship on Saturday. but i would if I could...)

Sunday morning: THINK GOD.

THINK DELIGHT.

Forget about the oatmeal, the buggers, the neatly pressed clothing, (or blue jeans, we're cool here.) Focus. on. Delighting myself in the Lord.

Boy I like that idea. It sounds nice. Nice like a cold drink on a hot day.

I think I'll go make a breakfast casserole I can just slide into the oven sunday mornings... I think I'll refuse to worry about all the little things that didn't get done. I wont' do them, in fact. If I didn't make the time to do it yesterday, God's HOLY day of rest is not going to stand in.

I am going to REVEL in my day off.

GOD IS GLORIOUS.

He's given me this day to spend JUST focused on Him. How awesome is that? If I do nothing but Delight myself in the Lord, I have pleased Him. Who cares about dirty socks? That was a weekday concern, the Sabbath day is About JESUS.

You know what I think? I think because I never rest on Sunday, I'm tired all week. Because I'm tired all week, I'm draggin'. I grab a minute of rest wherever I can. By the time Sunday rolls around again I'm feelin' okay, but I spend the day frantically trying to make 'it' right, because I feel lazy and I wonder if I could have done a better job.

But God's day isn't the day for that, is it?

Right, let's see... Hmm.. I squander my time and use it unwisely... and then when the Sabbath rolls around I take GOD's time and I commandeer it for my own interests so I feel better about me.

I'm thinking this has to change. I'm thinking the Sabbath should be the day I get to dive into that bible study I never have time for, the one I 'wish i had time for'. Listen to me, God Totally provided the time for that! I just don't use it.

It's kind of like your boss providing you with 'sick days' at work, but you never take them because you have an overdeveloped sense of importance, even with a temp of 105.

I think I have an overdeveloped sense of pride in the appearance of the family Sunday mornings. Or the house. Or myself. See, this reflects poorly on my abilities as a wife and a mom. Well. I think God can help me out with improving those skills, but HIS day is not the day to fake it so I feel good about me. So we look the part. So it all seems up to snuff on the surface.

So.

Tomorrow I am going to practice Delight in the presence of a wonderful Lord.

Care to join me?

No Such Thing as Me Time

Selfishness. It's been a struggle. I have the occasional joy-filled, day of peace, and I think: "I will never leave this place, Lord, it's so GREAT being here with You!" But then the next day I take my eyes off HIM and I look down.

Heeeyyyyy... Look at me! Wow! I'm so spiritual. And then... I stumble. But I justify it, right before I CRASH.

I haven't been able to see it though. I haven't been able to understand why it is that keep falling. I KNOW what's right. I KNOW I'm ignoring the needs of my children in favor of my own selfish desires for entertainment, ease, and 'me time'.

That's right people. "Me time".

What is that? Who ever said we were entitled to it and how did it become so inflated in importance? It sounds awful! Listen.

Me. Time. Time for ME!! What about ME?? ME! MINE! ME, ME, ME!! ME First! ME Time! Me and I are friends. I never get to read a book alone. I can't even go potty alone. I wish I had some time to myself.

No. Me time is a child of the Enemy. Let's not kid ourselves.

The only thing any of us needs is time with Jesus. JESUS. TIME. What about JEsus? Time for JEsus, anyone? JESUS, HIM, HIS, Jesus First! JESUS TIME.

And hey, Jesus is a people person. I'm sure He wouldn't mind if we invited him to breakfast makin' time with the kids. Or if I begged him for peace of mind whilst driving to the store for groceries with a loadful of whiny kids in the back... I think He'd be pleased to come, actually. And the great thing about Christ is, you're always alone with Him. Even in a room full of people. I like that about my Saviour.

Anyway. I was washing dishes Sunday morning, kicking myself for the failures of yesterday. Again... and I threw up a prayer, one of those desperate ones where you don't half expect an answer. My immediate answer was: "you took your eyes off ME, keep your eyes on Jesus, and you'll have no problems obeying." Oh.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus;

Look full in HIs wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

Thus the hymn above.
So, today I'm keeping my eyes on Jesus... and hoping the things of earth are a little dimmer.

Angels and Chocolate

It begins.

My first post. The start of a potentially... regretted experience. Why am I writing a blog? (I ask myself because I'm not sure I know, not sure I should, not certain it is... wise...)

But my children have dissappeared and there's nothing for it. I must blog. Impulsive, perhaps.

Where...? have these contented children come from? From what cloud have they descended? Today, day three of this abberant behaviour, I said to myself: "Self, you just might have time to begin that blog after all!" Hugging each other so tight they may choke to death if it continues much longer... 'LitterBug' reading 'Bear' a story...Sharing with uncommon consistency. It's very odd. Just this morning, Litter Bug offered Bear part of her piece of chocolate!

Chocolate!

(as a side note, yes, I'm a terrible Mom, I gave my children dessert direcly after breakfast, but if they don't eat the Christmas surplus, I'll have to!)

Bear had already had a whole piece of decadence to herself, but Big 'Sis wanted to share... oookaaay! I told her I was immensely pleased, and that Jesus was pleased too. She beamed.

Maybe I'm not such a bad Mom after all. Maybe the last 9 months of contention, fighting, biting and hair pulling wasn't in vain. Maybe the discipline I have been administering (albeit with scatter-brained consistency and conviction) is paying off? Maybe it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Grace. Maybe this will get easier. (hush, let me have my little fantasy!)

Welcome to the narration of my life!

Couple things you might notice about me right off the bat. I love God. Yep, I'm a God-lover, so the big Guy upstairs is going to get alot of lines, and you should know that. Secondly, I'm a Mom, I have two kids, and everyone has a pseudonym.

My family consists of myself... Litter Bug,(don't ask me now that name evolved)and Bear, (my two girls) and World's Best Husband.

You're either reading this because you're my friend and I begged you to, or because you have too much time on your hands and you ran across me randomly while wasting your time on the internet. Either way, welcome but be warned; I'm not the most tactful individual to walk the planet, and since I don't know you and this blog is all about me anyway, I probably won't bother to mince words.

I should explain my signature. The Bible describes the followers of Christ as sheep, and our Saviour, the Shepherd. My 'siggy' is just my way of ascribing credit where it's due. On my own I'm always, with consternating consistency, a failure. But with Jesus? I shine. He shines through me. I hope you see Him, I'll try to stay out of the line of vision as best I can.