No Such Thing as Me Time

Selfishness. It's been a struggle. I have the occasional joy-filled, day of peace, and I think: "I will never leave this place, Lord, it's so GREAT being here with You!" But then the next day I take my eyes off HIM and I look down.

Heeeyyyyy... Look at me! Wow! I'm so spiritual. And then... I stumble. But I justify it, right before I CRASH.

I haven't been able to see it though. I haven't been able to understand why it is that keep falling. I KNOW what's right. I KNOW I'm ignoring the needs of my children in favor of my own selfish desires for entertainment, ease, and 'me time'.

That's right people. "Me time".

What is that? Who ever said we were entitled to it and how did it become so inflated in importance? It sounds awful! Listen.

Me. Time. Time for ME!! What about ME?? ME! MINE! ME, ME, ME!! ME First! ME Time! Me and I are friends. I never get to read a book alone. I can't even go potty alone. I wish I had some time to myself.

No. Me time is a child of the Enemy. Let's not kid ourselves.

The only thing any of us needs is time with Jesus. JESUS. TIME. What about JEsus? Time for JEsus, anyone? JESUS, HIM, HIS, Jesus First! JESUS TIME.

And hey, Jesus is a people person. I'm sure He wouldn't mind if we invited him to breakfast makin' time with the kids. Or if I begged him for peace of mind whilst driving to the store for groceries with a loadful of whiny kids in the back... I think He'd be pleased to come, actually. And the great thing about Christ is, you're always alone with Him. Even in a room full of people. I like that about my Saviour.

Anyway. I was washing dishes Sunday morning, kicking myself for the failures of yesterday. Again... and I threw up a prayer, one of those desperate ones where you don't half expect an answer. My immediate answer was: "you took your eyes off ME, keep your eyes on Jesus, and you'll have no problems obeying." Oh.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus;

Look full in HIs wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

Thus the hymn above.
So, today I'm keeping my eyes on Jesus... and hoping the things of earth are a little dimmer.

Angels and Chocolate

It begins.

My first post. The start of a potentially... regretted experience. Why am I writing a blog? (I ask myself because I'm not sure I know, not sure I should, not certain it is... wise...)

But my children have dissappeared and there's nothing for it. I must blog. Impulsive, perhaps.

Where...? have these contented children come from? From what cloud have they descended? Today, day three of this abberant behaviour, I said to myself: "Self, you just might have time to begin that blog after all!" Hugging each other so tight they may choke to death if it continues much longer... 'LitterBug' reading 'Bear' a story...Sharing with uncommon consistency. It's very odd. Just this morning, Litter Bug offered Bear part of her piece of chocolate!

Chocolate!

(as a side note, yes, I'm a terrible Mom, I gave my children dessert direcly after breakfast, but if they don't eat the Christmas surplus, I'll have to!)

Bear had already had a whole piece of decadence to herself, but Big 'Sis wanted to share... oookaaay! I told her I was immensely pleased, and that Jesus was pleased too. She beamed.

Maybe I'm not such a bad Mom after all. Maybe the last 9 months of contention, fighting, biting and hair pulling wasn't in vain. Maybe the discipline I have been administering (albeit with scatter-brained consistency and conviction) is paying off? Maybe it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Grace. Maybe this will get easier. (hush, let me have my little fantasy!)

Welcome to the narration of my life!

Couple things you might notice about me right off the bat. I love God. Yep, I'm a God-lover, so the big Guy upstairs is going to get alot of lines, and you should know that. Secondly, I'm a Mom, I have two kids, and everyone has a pseudonym.

My family consists of myself... Litter Bug,(don't ask me now that name evolved)and Bear, (my two girls) and World's Best Husband.

You're either reading this because you're my friend and I begged you to, or because you have too much time on your hands and you ran across me randomly while wasting your time on the internet. Either way, welcome but be warned; I'm not the most tactful individual to walk the planet, and since I don't know you and this blog is all about me anyway, I probably won't bother to mince words.

I should explain my signature. The Bible describes the followers of Christ as sheep, and our Saviour, the Shepherd. My 'siggy' is just my way of ascribing credit where it's due. On my own I'm always, with consternating consistency, a failure. But with Jesus? I shine. He shines through me. I hope you see Him, I'll try to stay out of the line of vision as best I can.